I didn't get to post last night cause I was exhausted from an amazing first day at work and a fun filled dinner with Shannon and Sarah...so I decided to make this post Fabulous Friday :) Here is my list of fabulous things:
1) My amazing beach vacation with Ashley and her family. Despite the bad sunscreen and burn, it was a blast. The beach was beautiful, a short walk from the house, water was a perfect temperature, and there was a breeze that kept you from dying in the heat. Ashley's mom made these amazing peach daiquiri's....OMG....I have been craving one ever since we left!! I even got to go house hunting with Ashley and her Mom....fingers crossed that orders send them to NC cause the other options are too far away for me (selfish I know).
2) Dinner with Shannon and Sarah....my annual trip to Cheesecake factory was full of catching up and fun stories and of course amazing cheesecake. I'm so thankful for our friendship and that we continue to keep in touch :)
3) My new job....can I just say FABULOUS. Don't get me wrong...I really miss my friends at Springwoods, but I'm so excited about my new responsibilities and all the opportunities opening a new school have provided me! It is so nice to finally be appreciated and trusted to do my job. Please feel free to stop by for lunch or a chat cause I do miss seeing everyone!!
4) My fabulous hubby.....while I have had my share of fabulous days, my hubby is always there to make me laugh and tell me it's okay when I get sad or cry at night. I cannot wait to spend forever with him!!
5) Lastly.....I feel like every time I cross my fingers or pray for things....something goes wrong (sad I know)....so at this point in my life I am just going to think positive thoughts (baby, house, happiness, safe travel thoughts) for all my friends and family so that I can only add more things to be thankful or feel fabulous about :)
Have a great weekend!!
July 29, 2011
July 27, 2011
San Juan Island Trip
We visited my parents on the San Juan Islands, off the coast of Washington State for a few days in the house they plan to retire to. It was an amazing trip :) Caution....lots of pictures!!
We flew Southwest (amazing airline by the way....super friendly and roomy) and were lucky enough to snag an exit row so we had lots of leg room for the 6 hour flight!! The flight was good and thanks to our new obsession (One Tree Hill) we got to watch 8 episodes...really helped the time go by fast :)
We decided to do some Seattle sight seeing once we arrived (Pike's Place, REI and lunch) since my parents new place is a 1.5 hour drive and an additional 1 hour ferry ride from Seattle (well worth it). Notice the clothing below as we left BWI at 110 degrees with the heat index (sundress appropriate) and arrived to 60ish degree weather in Seattle..chilly butwhat a nice change :)
After a great afternoon in Seattle (the REI was amazing) we headed towards Friday Harbor on the San Juan Islands. The ferry ride was pretty fun....EXPENSIVE. Keeping in mind that it is high season it was $87 for the car and passengers to ride the ferry to the island!! Here are some fun ferry pictures!
We don't have too many pictures of my parents house because as my mom likes to put it, it is a work in progress. That being said, it looks great and has so much potential. The guest quarters were superb and you CANNOT find a better view from the large wrap around deck....AMAZING!! All the pictures below were taken from their deck with my crappy camera!!
The entrance to the front door of my parents new place :)
We took a short ferry ride to Orcas Island to do some sight seeing one day. Unfortunately the weather was overcast so we didn't see too much but nonetheless had a great time hiking and eating :) We didn't bring raincoats with us (I should have known better since I lived in Seattle..oops) so we had to buy cheap poncho's :)
There were so many different things to see on the Island....we went to an El Paca farm and saw the eagles and an otter swimming.
The highlight of the trip (other than visiting with the rents) was seeing the Orca Whales. The swim up and down the straights all day long and we can see them from my parents deck. The standard plan was to spot them from the deck, run to the car, drive down the street to the water and run out on the rocks. If you used binnoculars you could actually see the whites of their bellies. The whales would jump, spray water and swim along. The one time we didn't have our camera a whale was swimming so close that we could see the whales eyes as it "spied" us watching it on the rocks....I cannot express how cool it was to see! Here are a few pictures where you can see their fins coming out of the water....again not the greatest but you get the idea!
The whale body is on the right (enlarge it and you can really see it).
TJ brought his bike so that he and my Dad could tour the island on two wheels. There were lots more hills for TJ to tackle, but they had a great time and TJ loved the biking weather :)
My mom and I figured we too should tour the island in style :) Introducing the Scoot Coupe....OMG....so much fun. We giggled, honked, waved and had a blast scooting our way around the island. TJ and Dad even gave it a try cause it looked so fun!1
It was a great trip and excellent way to get away from everything. We were able to sleep well and clear our minds and spend some time with two of our favorite people (Mom and Dad). I'll end this post with some miscellaneous pictures. We CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK and visit again!!!
Mom and I on one of our many walks to see the whales :)
TJ getting some sleep on the ferry ride to the airport!
The island does not have trash pick up so you have to either burn your trash or take it off the island. My parents burn what they can, but we had to ride in the car with the trash in the back. This is me and Mom being silly about the smell of the trash in the back of the car...it really wasn't bad!!
I'm also went on another summer adventure... more to come on that next post. Until then, please say a little prayer for me as I officially start my new job tomorrow!!
July 8, 2011
REALLY
So I know that this is all my fault because I did sign up to receive this magazine....but really did you have to send me two??? As if one wasn't enough of a slap in the face..uhhhhhhhhh!!!
I figure that I will probably be receiving many baby related magazines, samples, etc. but seeing as this was the first....I just had to vent.
I'll end on a positive note...........I'm looking forward to using these magazines and all other baby related stuff coming my way when we get pregnant again and have a happy and healthy baby.
I figure that I will probably be receiving many baby related magazines, samples, etc. but seeing as this was the first....I just had to vent.
I'll end on a positive note...........I'm looking forward to using these magazines and all other baby related stuff coming my way when we get pregnant again and have a happy and healthy baby.
July 6, 2011
July 3, 2011
The Story of Baby Y
While this blog has been very difficult to write...it has helped us with our grieving process.
We find that it is easier, both physically and emotionally, to take the time to write the story down once rather than verbally tell the story over and over again until we are ready. Hopefully this will help answer some of your questions.
After about a year and a half of trying to have our first baby, TJ and I decided to go to Shady Grove Fertility to see what other options we had available. Basically we have unexplained infertility (nothing’s wrong with either of us, it just wasn’t happening for some reason). We decided to try three rounds of IUI, Intrauterine insemination, (they basically place his sperm in my uterus when I’m ovulating) to hopefully time everything perfectly in the hopes of conceiving.
On April 15, 2011 (our third, and last IUI attempt) we got a phone call that we were in fact pregnant. The kicker was that my HCG levels were lower than normal but all the home pregnancy tests kept coming up pregnant.
We went to the doctor for a 10 week ultrasound and heard a strong heartbeat and saw a healthy baby. Everything looked "perfect." They say that the percentage of miscarriage after seeing and hearing the baby’s heartbeat is about 2-3%, so we finally got to relax and begin telling close family and friends our news….Baby Y was expected to arrive around Christmas 2011!!
On June 11th, our whole world came crashing down. My mom was in town visiting so I made a 12 week ultrasound appointment (an NT, nuchal translucency, a high tech ultrasound) so she could see Baby Y. I think we were all a little nervous about the test, but we could never have anticipated and/or be prepared for what happened. All smiles, we entered the exam room and right away my gut told me something was wrong….but I’m a worrier so I let it go. The very insensitive tech kept asking questions and then briefly said, “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat, I’ll get the doctor,” and left. The doctor confirmed a few minutes later that Baby Y no longer had a heartbeat and that I had what is called a “missed miscarriage.” We will never be able to explain the deep feelings of hurt, sadness, pain, loss and anger we all felt that morning. I truly believe that it was the worst moment of my entire life. Being that it was a Saturday…we had to wait until Monday to see the OB/GYN. I don’t really remember the rest of the weekend, except for the hope that maybe someone made a mistake. I kept thinking how could we have come this far, been so happy for this to happen and so in love with Baby Y….the doctor HAD be wrong and we were going to wake up from this bad dream.
On Monday we were given three options: 1) do nothing and wait for my body to decide to terminate the pregnancy on it's own (anywhere from 2-12 weeks), 2) take medicine to induce a miscarriage at home, 3) have a D&C -also known as dilation and curettage, is a surgical procedure often performed after a first trimester miscarriage. I know that this is a personal choice and can see how either option works, however for me, the pain of waiting for nature to take it’s course or have anything happen at home was too much. We decided on a D&C but not until we had another ultrasound to confirm there really was no heartbeat. The ultrasound was scheduled for Tuesday….I prayed so hard on Monday night that this was all just a bad dream and that we would see Baby Y doing summersaults on the screen like we had a few weeks earlier. As sad as it was to sit through that ultrasound and not hear a heartbeat, I do have to say that Baby Y looked so peaceful. TJ, my mom and the doctor all said Baby Y looked like he/she wasn’t going anywhere for awhile cause he/she was stubborn like their mom. I think we all agreed. The D&C was scheduled for Wednesday morning at 9:00 am.
Tuesday night I took a medicine to open up my cervix for the procedure Wednesday morning. I was lucky that the immense pain and heavy bleeding did not occur until 4 am so I only had to endure the pain until my 9 am appointment. The nurses and doctors at PW Surgical center were phenomenal, so sympathetic and caring to our situation. Again, I kept saying over and over in my head….”Please wake me up from this horrible dream and make my baby be okay.” The nurse gave me an angel pin to wear during the procedure and now I wear the pin on my school badge to remind me of our little angel in heaven. I did not experience too much pain once I was admitted and was so exhausted that the general anesthesia worked very quickly. The whole procedure was completed in 20 minutes. The doctor told my mom and TJ that the medicine worked very well and that she didn’t have to dilate my cervix at all which would speed up my recovery.
My Mom and TJ were, and continue to be, beyond amazing and incredible. Both supported, comforted, cried and kept me going through this difficult time. Our friends and family are wonderful and did so much to remind us of just how loved we and Baby Y are. I will never be able to find words to describe how much each and every one of you means to us.
I still feel empty and struggle with sadness/anger/and questions. I try to take one day at a time and remember that “everything happens for a reason (I just can’t fathom what that reason is).” Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Baby Y. We are grateful that we had 12 wonderful weeks to celebrate with him/her and will never forget the happiness he/she brought us. We look forward to the day when we can post pictures of a happy and healthy Baby Y.2
I’ll end today with a poem my sister sent me on the day of my D&C:
“The Busiest Day In Heaven"
It's the busiest day in Heaven
I'm planning a big surprise
To let you know I love you
And that no one ever dies
Even though your down below
And I am up above
I'm sending you my wishes
And all my angel love
It's really quite exciting
To plan this big event
For lots of gifts will come your way
And all are Heaven sent
First I'll take a bubble bath-
My splashes might cause some rain
But knowing all the fun I'm having
Will help to ease your pain
Next I'll get some pictures
In my halo and gown
So when you get to Heaven
You can show me all around
I have color crayons in Heaven
And I will draw some stars so bright
And place them in the sky today
For you to see tonight
Then Jesus will have story time
And I will sit upon his lap
He'll tell me all about you
Just before I nap
I'll awake full of energy
And play a game or two
Before I finish sending
All my love to you
After snack I'll write a song
For all the birds to sing
And know I've made you happy
With all the joy it brings
At night time I'll be tired
But I'll still hold you tight
My arms will wrap around you
And keep you through the night
And when you finally slumber
I will kneel and pray
Asking God to bless you
Each and every day.
Love,
Your Little Angel – Baby Y
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)