The Y's Happily Ever After

August 23, 2011


We survived the 5.9 magnitude earthquake today :)  Happy to report that everyone, including Leo is safe and sound.  The house didn't sustain any injuries...other than a few fallen pictures!
It was pretty impressive....shaking for about 1 1/2 minutes....enough for it to register that it was an earthquake and be a little scared!
I was at my new building which isn't quite finished so we have had people banging on the roof and all around the building the past few days.  I was on the phone with the KLC (20 minutes away) and I laughed and said, "I'm sorry, but it feels like we are having an earthquake here," to which she responded, "Yeah, I feel the same thing...we need to get off the phone!"  I then jumped up with a teacher I just met and stood in the doorway watching the cars move outside my window!!  Weird!!  (At least I wasn't in the elevator).

I guess now we have to deal with the aftershocks!!  Just glad everyone is safe :)

August 18, 2011

Thankful on Thursday

And now for a more positive post......
Lots to be thankful for :)

1) I'm thankful for my new bike.  It is super comfy and I'm up to 10 miles so far (that's about when my butt starts to hurt a little.)  I go with the hubby (can't keep up with him though) and it's a great way to spend some time together.
2) This is long overdue...but finally a picture of Ashley and I :)  We had a great time with her, Ace and Ben last weekend.
3) Leo for always making us laugh and smile.  Leo loves to de-stuff just about everything he can.  We were playing tug with a de-stuffed toy and this was the result.....super stretchy :)

 4) My new job :)  TJ came to take a tour of the new school, see my GINORMOUS office and have lunch the other day.  He really enjoyed the names of the hallways!  I have to say that it feels so good to be appreciated and reminded (almost daily) how important you are and how lucky the school is to have "the best!"  (My new boss actually tells people he got the "best or cream of the crop" AP!!)  I've been super duper busy and never finish my lists, but I'm still loving it!!
5) I am thankful that I have such wonderful friends and family who love and support me and make me smile each and every day.  If you are reading this blog, you are one of these special people in my life.  I love and appreciate you for making a difference in my life.

6) I'm super thankful and excited to have three, very special visitors come by the school and have lunch with me tomorrow.  I cannot wait!!

7) One Tree Hill....while we are sad that we have finished all the seasons available on DVD (come on 
Season 8) ....we are thankful to have been introduced to the addiction that is OTH.

8) Wishing and hoping......CONTINUALLY :)

9) The word to describe him...AMAZING!!!

August 17, 2011


I promise tomorrows post will be more positive.....

Reasons today sucked:
1.  Got my period:(  For those of you trying to have a baby, you understand my pain.
2. Got a call about cord blood registry for Baby Y.
3. Got a bill from the doctors office.  Apparently if you don't go full term, you have to pay for EVERY visit.  So basically I'm being penalized for loosing a baby.  Like that was our choice.  FML.

August 16, 2011

August 7, 2011

Random Thoughts...........

This is what kind of post you get when I can't sleep.....

Let me start of by writing about the dreaded questions/statements I've gotten and know I will get as school starts to pick up and I see more people: "How are you doing (said with a sigh) or You look great!"  To each I've been pretending a little and answering with a smile, "Great and thanks...I feel pretty good!"  But let's be honest, while a large percentage of the time, I'm okay....I'm still not great!
I still cry when I see parents yelling at their kids in the store and when a family of 8 walked in to register their children at my school. 
I still can't drive past the doctors office where we learned that Baby Y didn't have a heartbeat without looking away, crying and feeling sick to my stomach.
I still have many sleepless nights replaying the doctors appointment when we found out everything, the procedure in the hospital where my mom, TJ and I said goodbye to Baby Y and the way TJ kissed my belly and sweetly said he would always love Baby Y.  
I still get stuck on the "why" cycle: why has it been so hard for us to get pregnant?, why did we lose the baby?, why aren't we lucky enough to have our own children? which of course leads into the "Maybe if's:"  Maybe if I would've not been so stressed at work, Baby Y would still be here or Maybe if I would've done this or that.  Which then leads into the "how comes:" how come people who don't want, don't appreciate or can't raise a child are blessed with them?  The worst question I'm face with:  when will we get pregnant again and have a healthy baby?   I know it's an endless cycle....but sometimes I find myself stuck on it.
I still get so angry that I just sit and cry and resist throwing things at the wall (I'm not crazy...just angry that this all happened).
I still put on a happy face whenever people who don't know me ask if I have children and/or when I plan on having them.  I just respond "Not yet, but I would love to have children!"
So am I doing okay??? I doing great??? Not really....but I am taking it day by day and each day gets better and there are more nights of sleeping than staying awake with the above thoughts.  I know I will never stop thinking about/loving Baby Y but I feel like I am getting closer to accepting that what happened did happen for a reason....a reason I will never accept or understand, but I have to believe it happened for a reason.

I do have to share what keeps me going each and every day.
I have an AMAZING husband who is sweet, funny and pushes me to be a better person every day.  He loves me when I'm happy, sad, angry and frustrated.  He makes me laugh, dances with me whenever people on TV are dancing.  He is a BIG reason why I'm on my way to being great again.
My mom is always there to listen, offer advice and tell me it's okay to be upset and sad.  I know that one day I will be a Mom and I hope that my children love me as much as I love her.
My dad who instilled the quality of hard work in me and because of that I have an awesome new job, much closer to home, that I am proud to have.
My know who you are.  You have been there for me when I needed you the most.  Whether it's meeting up for dinner, taking beach trips, shopping, watching movies, going swimming, sharing exciting and happy news and just keeping me in the loop!  You continue to help make my days so much better!
My little boogie butt....Leo!  The way he cries and throws himself on the floor out of happiness when I get home, the way he just sits with me when I cry and gives me the "are you okay?" doggie look, the kisses he gives me just when he knows I need one, the way he always jumps up on the bed to wake me up in the morning, the way he curls up at my feet when he goes to sleep.  He makes me smile all the time!
My sister, Erik and Zack and their skype calls always make me happy.  Erik and Zack for their awesome dance moves and stories....they really are great kids!!

So at the end of the day, while I may still be a little cloudy on how I feel about life in's the people and the moments we share together that are helping me get back to that "Great" place I once was in.

Until next time......

August 5, 2011

Quick Thankful on Thursday....a little late :)

1) Had an excellent dinner date with Ashley last night.  Firebirds in Fredericksburg was super yummy :)  We had a blast picking out accessories and shoes to go with our various themed nights (gladiator night, 80's night, pimp and ho night, hooker night...etc.)  Needless to say there was lots of laughter when trying on hairbands, bracelets and the shoes that no one can walk in.  It was just what I needed :)

2) EXCELLENT news for a good friend.  I can't say much right now, except that I am super excited for her and her family.

3) My parents sold their house in Louisville!  It was good for them because now they don't have to battle two mortgages, but a little bitter sweet because they are officially moving to the San Juan Islands the end of August.  I keep reminding myself we are no more than a plane ride away :)

4) My wonderful hubby!!  I am amazed at his strength and endurance and am super proud that he is going to do a triathalon and a 100 mile bike race this year.  He makes me laugh every day!  I love you honey!

That's all for now as I'm off to a BORING meeting at the KLC :)